***
I gave myself one night to
fall apart, cry, and put myself together again.
Derek’s words had hurt, and my pride told me I was a fool if I ever
threw myself at him again.
But my time with Derek
had helped me to see that my pride was a heavy burden, and often a destructive
one. My determination, however, was no
less important and no less potent than it had been before I met him.
“Are you sure you want to
do this?” Smith asked, his voice soft
with concern.
I knew the Rule Breaker
in Chief wasn’t worried about allowing me to accompany him to Decadence against
Kennedy’s orders. He was worried about
me getting hurt.
My eyes found his silver
ones. “I can’t say I’m thrilled about
doing this in front of you, but it’s the right thing to do. It’s the only thing to do. If Derek doesn’t listen to me after this, I
don’t think there’s any way for me to get through to him.”
My fierce friend offered
me an uncharacteristically gentle smile.
“He doesn’t deserve you, you know.
And if it makes you feel better, I won’t check out your ass.”
“You’d better not check
out anything else, either.”
“I make no promises.”
“Smith!” I slapped him on the arm, and he chuckled.
“I promise I won’t look
at you. Not like that.” His expression turned more serious. “I don’t
think of you like that, Sharon. You’re
like my very deadly, very hot little sister.
And I’ll kick the ass of anyone who looks at you in a way I don’t
like. You’re safe here with me.”
The words awoke a warm
glow in my chest. The depth of his
affection for me was unexpected and more welcome than I could have
imagined. I had always worked so hard to
prove I could be one of the guys. It had
never occurred to me that they could value me as anything else. Smith didn’t view me in the same way he did
Clayton, but he still cared about me.
“Thanks,” I whispered.
I glanced around the
club, hunting for Derek. Smith and I
stood just inside the entrance, and I had yet to spot him. I had to get on with this before I lost my
nerve. “It’s now or never,” I mumbled as
I toed out of my flats. Smith would look
after them – and my coat – for me.
My fingers clutched at
the lapels of my khaki trench coat, twisting in the fabric with a brief shot of
nerves.
“Hey.” Smith gave my arm a little squeeze. “You’ve got this.”
Taking a deep breath, I
nodded and began to undo the five large buttons with trembling fingers. Cool air hit my midriff when the fabric
parted. It slid over my skin with the
coat, making every inch of my flesh pebble as it was revealed.
When I stood in nothing
but my see-through black lace bra and panties, I could no longer meet Smith’s
eyes.
“You look beautiful.” There wasn’t a trace of lustful heat my
friend’s words, only genuine admiration.
“No matter what happens, I’ll be here for you.”
My first steps away from
the safety of Smith were small, hesitant.
My eyes searched the club. No
Derek. If I couldn’t see him, I would
just have to make myself nice and visible.
Calling upon my
determination, I embraced its steely kiss, allowing it to cut away my fear and
self-consciousness. I placed one foot in
front of the other, and soon I found a steady, confident stride. Curious stares rolled over my flesh like
dozens of little cold marbles. I allowed
myself to find the sensation interesting rather than frightening or repulsive. If anything, it was… empowering.
Heels clicked along the
floor beside me as someone joined me on my short journey to the center of the
dungeon.
“Everything okay?” Clara asked.
“Fine.” I confirmed simply. This was none of Clara’s business, and for
once I didn’t care to pry into hers. I
was here for Derek, and nothing else.
Content that I was well
within the view of everyone who cared to look, I sank down on my knees,
positioning myself in the slave pose Derek had taught me. I settled back on my heels and spread my
legs. My hands rested on my thighs,
palms-up. My head was bowed, my back
straight.
Clara was silent above me
for a moment, then sighed. “I’ll go find
him for you.” Her stilettos clicked off,
becoming fainter before being swallowed by the pulsing music.
I settled in, keeping my
focus inward rather than allowing myself to think about all of the people
watching me. I was dressed as a
submissive. Hell, I was barely dressed
in anything at all. And I had presented
my nearly-naked self to dozens of people.
It was my own personal
form of penance. I had never allowed
anyone but Derek to see me as a submissive.
I had hidden my submission away in the private rooms. This was a declaration, an apology he
couldn’t ignore.
I hoped.
I recognized his furious
footfalls seconds before he reached me.
“What the fuck do you
think you’re doing?” His anger slammed
down on me hard enough to make my shoulders slump.
I straightened them
within seconds, but I kept my eyes appropriately downcast. “I’m apologizing, Sir.”
“Get out,” he
seethed. “Put on some goddamn clothes,
and get out of my club right now.”
“No.”
“No?” The word was heavy with
furious incredulity. “You don’t get to
say no. That was an order.”
My eyes lifted to his,
revealing my defiance. “Well, I’m not
feeling very obedient this evening. I
guess you’ll have to punish me.”
“Get up, Sharon,” he
snapped.
I shook my head. “I told you; I’m not feeling very obedient.”
His jaw ticked and his
muscles bulged with his frustration. He
was every bit as shredded up inside as he had been the night before. My heart ached to see him so tormented. He needed to find control so badly, but I had
hurt him too deeply. His trust wouldn’t
be won back easily.
But there was nothing
easy about what I was doing. I had
stripped away my clothes and my pride for him.
If he threw me out, I would be just as destroyed inside as he was now.
“Please, Derek,” I
breathed. “I’m sorry.”
“We are not doing this
here,” he ground out, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
“Then where do you want
to do it?” I kept up my implacable
façade. He had to know I wasn’t going to
back down from this.
Molten gold churned in
his eyes.
“Everywhere,” he
growled. “If you don’t leave now, I’m
going to fuck you everywhere, every way.
I’m going to punish every inch of you, inside and out. So I suggest you get out, before I can’t stop
myself.”
Fear and something more
delicious stirred low in my belly.
“I don’t want you to stop
yourself, Sir,” I whispered tremulously.
He needed this. I needed it.
Absolution. I needed his
punishment so badly it made my heart hurt.
I needed his forgiveness every bit as much as he needed to punish me for
hurting him.
A vicious, hungry rumble
vibrated from his chest and through his corded arms as they closed around
me. I closed my eyes in bliss at his
touch, and I felt the world tilt.
Air left me in a rush when my abdomen collided with his shoulder. Blood rushed to my head, and everything
turned upside down. My hair swayed as I
began to move
I was slung over Derek’s
shoulder. He was carrying me away from
the dungeon, away from the curious eyes watching us. For a moment, I feared he was going to
physically throw me out into the street, but then I recognized the corridor
that lead to the private rooms, and relief washed through me.
“Thank you,” I said
softly.
“Don’t thank me. You’ll regret it
soon enough.”***
That's all for now! I'm so excited to share this story with y'all!
Much Love,
Julia xxx
Wow......
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